You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
we're making bets on your personal life
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
