apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Randomize
