hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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