guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Randomize
