What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
