sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Randomize
