dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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