Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
It all started with a game of naked twister.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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