Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Randomize
