Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
