If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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