Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
