I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Randomize
