i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
