I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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