I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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