i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
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