belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
