dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Randomize