Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
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I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
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that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
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