Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize