If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
My vagina is officially offended.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
