So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
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He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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