whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
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