All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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