I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
