I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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