He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Randomize
