There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
