video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
We talked him into tasing himself.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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