Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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