Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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