Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
