I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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