Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Randomize
