I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
third nipple confirmed
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
