We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Its about making memories worth repressing
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
