why didn't you poke me back
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Randomize
