they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Randomize
