At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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