Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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