I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize