My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
