I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
