The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
