i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
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she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
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Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
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