he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
