The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Randomize
