Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
do herpes really smell.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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