I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Randomize
