yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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