my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Found your dick twin last night
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
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