Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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