i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize
