apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
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