Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Randomize
