are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Randomize
