Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
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She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
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My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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