Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
