So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Randomize
