you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
