make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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