My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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