You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
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Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
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Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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