this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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