STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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