I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
