nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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