somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
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