my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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