I want to stick my p in your. b.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
