Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
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