super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
