this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
